Tinder Feature Request: Emergency Unswipe-Right for Cousins
I’m sitting at work, swiping right like I have a muscle spasm and three women have gone by when I begin to ask myself, was that Megan?
Tag: Phones
What It’s Like Being a Telemarketer From Hell
From 150 miles under the bandstand of Toms River, NJ, a demon explains what it's like to be a timeshare telemarketer in Hell.
When Games of Thrones Characters Call Tech Support
Hello, Verizon? It's Daenerys Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms.
The 7 Most Annoying Types of 911 Callers
I am one of the sometimes disillusioned yet endlessly friendly 911 dispatchers, and I am here to share some highlights of the people wasting your tax dollars.
The Red Phone Diaries
Sorry Mrs. President, we tried to stop the First Man, but Bill was knee-deep in the Hooters already. We tried to email you about this situation, but we didn't get a reply.
Eschewing the Tip Drill
In lieu of tipping the bathroom attendant at a strip club, a lot of guys will choose to just NOT wash their hands. Not me.
Is That a Flip Phone?
This is a question I hear with more and more frequency every time I pull the trusty ol' Motorola from my pocket in public. Yes, I still have a flip phone. No, I am not some hipster fuck.
My Last 20 Text Messages
I like to think of my latest texts as a shallow character study and a pop culture linguistics check.
Adventures in Phone Sex
Okay. So, um...you're all alone in the motel room. You're sitting on the bed. You're watching porn and you're starting to get hard. And those dwarves are just tearing that bitch up. There's seven of them.
The Five Stages of the Female Clinger
'Clinger' is a term for a girl who simply refuses to give a man any free time to himself. Here are the 5 stages, each progressively more aggressive.
Top 10 Dorm Room Mixed Drink Stirrers
The top 10 dorm room mixed drink stirrers - from "highly unlikely" to "downright disgusting." You know you've tried them all before.