Centrist Headlines for the California Wildfires
Governor And Fire Offer Competing Visions For Forest’s Future
Tag: Future
The Abyss Stared Back, and It Likes What It Saw
I know I'm just a little ol' abyss, but your attention has given me quite the pick-me-up. Not a lot of people notice me.
As Your Fortune Teller, I Will Tell You, a Dewy Young Thing, Who You’ll Be In Forty or Fifty Years
You will be a person who, needing more room for books, never once thinks the words “bricks” or “boards.”
Parasocial Security Will Take Care of Your Favorite Aging Celebrities
Instead of throwing your funds away on selfish pursuits, this new program ensures your precious headcanon stays intact.
A Letter to My Past Self, Currently Caught in a Time Travel Paradox
The person who left the initial voicemail saying, “Come to the lab immediately?” That’s Dave 7.
Things I Would Say to My Crush If I Woke Up Back in High School
"I didn't really think this one through. I'm stuck here in this pre-Y2K past. I now have homework again and two presentations next week!"
I Have No Professional Skills So I’m Applying to Be an LA Meteorologist
I’ve workshopped names like Gale Force, Itsa Scorcher, Summer Day, or if you just want to throw all subtlety out the window, Cloud Precipitation.
A Preflight Safety Lecture in the Not-So-Distant Future
Non-stop service from Dunkin Brands/Boston International Airport to Paramount++ Presents The Mummy VI/Hollywood Burbank Airport.
What Your Astrological Sign Says About You (Behind Your Back)
Taurus sun is grounded and earthy. I did hear it spreading a rumor that you lied about meeting Joey Fatone though.
You Can Do Anything You Want in Life, As Long as You Get Past the Crushing Weight of Reality
Maybe you could just be an accountant who wears a tiara and pets a teacup poodle whilst shoveling through student loan debt for the rest of her life.
Playful Cheeseburger Sliders, Motherly Advice, and a Sincere Apology
Glen Lentil goes patty wild, our horoscope writer just wants what's best for you, and a pool manager owns up to an honest mistake.
DIY Bird Feeders and Everyday US Patriots
Join our new big-name columnists for a savory summer of defining opinions. Foodie life, advice, home improvement, interviews, and horoscopes.