So You Ignored the Warnings of That Dystopian Novel
Take some deep breaths and be mindful that there are several levels to the destruction you have wrought upon the one livable place we humans are aware of.
Tag: Science
A Letter to My Past Self, Currently Caught in a Time Travel Paradox
The person who left the initial voicemail saying, “Come to the lab immediately?” That’s Dave 7.
Thomas Edison’s Birthday Really Snuck Up on Me This Year
Getting electrocuted in the Menlo Park mall on the big man’s birthday is on my bucket list, but 2022 is not going to be the year I cross that one off.
I Finished Making My First Batch of Chardonnay for My New Wine Company and I’m Looking Forward to Selling It in 17 Years
Once the chardonnay finishes aging in early 2039, we need a little more labor out of you before your first check.
All the Species Darwin Discovered in the Galapagos Islands, and How They Tasted
How could two islands of near-identical climate, geology, and elevation give rise to two such distinct, yet delicious creatures? Science rocks.
Neil Degrasse Tyson Ruins “The Night Before Christmas”
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, Although millions of microscopic mites which live in the pores of the skin will be out to feast
Lab Rat Resigns, Looks for Better Pellet-Dispensing Gig
My hours are long, there’s no clock, and my wages are… well it’s just the pellets, isn’t it?
I’m a Mad Scientist’s Failed Experiment and I’m Here to Tell You, It Gets Better
Pours some liquid into some test tubes, gets their big science-y machine going, and boom. He made me. This human/frog hybrid “monster.”
It Was Foolish of You to Match Wits with an Anti-Vaxxer, Detective
I’m a different breed altogether. How will you catch a man who does his own research?
PEMDAS: The Remix
We’re excited to announce that, in producing the new PEMDAS, we’ve partnered with French tire proprietor and restaurant reviewer Michelin!
Is Cindy a Better Parent Than You? A Research Paper
We, the authors (your neighborhood walking group), are hopeful that an analysis of our findings will lead you to finally shut the fuck up about this.
The Indifference Rover
6:45 AM – The Indifference Rover has been located in the staff rec room where it was watching television. It has been returned to the rocket.