You Are Cordially Invited to Grandpa’s 7th Emotional Birthday Party
One especially pleasing development is how Grandpa has started taking responsibility for his actions.
Tag: Birthdays
I Refuse to Be the Only One Responsible for Mom’s Birthday Present
I don’t need to remind you about the “Flower Pot Fiasco," the “Macaroni Art Disaster," or the “I Thought It Wasn’t Until Next Month” flop.
Escape Room Mission Report for Susan’s 16th Birthday Party
When Lisa got bored and snuck a peek at the cobwebs, Julie told everyone about Lisa’s crush on your dandruffy history teacher.
It’s My Birthday Year!
QUARTER-BIRTHDAY: We'll kick things off with a low-key brunch nine months in advance of my birthday.
What to Expect With Your First 18-Year-Old War
Your war gets into Yale, just like its father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. Your war is a C student, just like its father.
[Title Blocked Until You Pledge To My Patreon]
Yes, I sold ad space at the end of that paragraph. Yes, I know that the end of the first paragraph is traditionally where the humorous premise goes.
The Worst Part About Aging is the Awful Birthday Cards
For those of us over 60, cards could say, “Congratulations on outwitting the grim reaper, keep up the good work!”
Is My Mom Worth a $7 Birthday Card?
I love you, mom. But as I comb through CVS's cards, I wonder: Are you worth the $7 I'm forking out for glitter, cheap puns, and a 12-second clip of "La Bamba"?
Evite to Kim Jong-Un’s Birthday Party
As you guys know, our friend, companion, Supreme Autocrat, and dynamite singer Kim Jong-Un is having a birthday in a few weeks. What are you guys' thoughts on a party?
You’re 33, I’m Not Coming to Your Half-Birthday Party
My niece is seven, and half-birthday parties are barely acceptable for her. And she’s a goddamn princess. Are you a princess, Lou?
Five Places I’ve Had to Call My Mother From on Her Birthday
I've been arrested for protesting clear-cutting and punching a security guard in the dick. When my Mom answers, she asks why the caller ID says "Humboldt County Jail."
Four Tips for Hosting Rosemary’s Baby Shower
Baby shower timing is important. Too late and Rosemary may be dead after the Antichrist rips out of her stomach. Too soon and she'll have no baby bump to sport!