Weddings Vows from Me, a Spelling Bee Champion, to You, My Former Spelling Bee Opponent
Even if the world was ending, I’d be pococurante, like I was in the third round of the Dayton County Regional Bee when my word was "pococurante."
Tag: Books
A Dating Profile of a Gothic Novel’s Love Interest
Children: No! Ok, I do have one ward. Just the one! She's not my actual child, it’s just… It's complicated.
It’s Very Postmodern
Some people might ask, how long after modernism is it? A few hours? A few days?
If Classic Literature Had Ad Breaks
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte – "Reader, I married him. It appears Hinge was the dating app intended to be destroyed."
I’m Victor Frankenstein, and I’m Pretty Sure I’m Nailing This Humanoid Reanimation Project
I'm advancing science entire centuries without bumping into any serious questions of morality and ethics. How unbelievable is that?
Yes, I Am Writing This in a Moleskin Notebook, Thanks for Noticing
Oh, how literary I look! Scribbling furiously in my leather-bound Moleskine notebook with a free hotel pen!
As President of the School of Hard Knocks, I Regret to Inform You Our Institution Is Not Accredited
Our institution has always transformed negative experiences into learning opportunities; that’s kind of our whole deal.
Pig-Pen Dishes the Dirt on the Peanuts Gang
It’s the story of one man’s life of tears and anguish, obscured by a drawn-on smile and a perennial cloud of dirt.
Yes, I Totally Read, I Love Books, Here Are All the Books I’ve Read
I read this book a long time ago, and I've read it a couple of times since then, so I remember the plot very well. Wow, what a journey this was.
The Reviews of My Short Story Collection Are Positively Glowing
“Makes you glad to have nerve endings.” — Kirkus Reviews
Are You in a Kafka Story or on the Phone with a Customer Service Representative?
No one will explain the charge to you, but you are sure it is unjust.
So You Ignored the Warnings of That Dystopian Novel
Take some deep breaths and be mindful that there are several levels to the destruction you have wrought upon the one livable place we humans are aware of.