Starbucks Introduces “New Normal” Seasonal Brews for Apocalyptic Times
Campus Dream — Coming Fall semester, steaming hot espresso with subtle notes of ennui, stale beer and dirty clothes.
Tag: Coffee
I’m Your Iced Coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts and I Am Fully Aware You’re Using Me to Avoid a Visit with Your Gastroenterologist
"Shameless caffeine addiction" just doesn’t cut it. Chances are you’ve also been avoiding your first screening with a gastroenterologist.
The Harper’s Letter by the Guy Whose Favorite Cafe Spot Was “Stolen”
But resistance must not be allowed to harden into its own brand of oppression—which That Jerk sitting in my chair is already exploiting.
I Hope This Email Finds You
My boss trusted me enough to get coffee and sometimes even pick up an occasional muffin. In addition, I became well-versed in Excel.
I’m Dating (a Cup of) Joe and I’ve Never Been Happier!
I don't think any of my boyfriends have had such a positive impact on my life. You know, cup of Joe sends me off to work every day.
An Ode to the Great Outside My Apartment
Coffee shops: “Ugh, I know it’s overpriced, but it’s my guilty pleasure!” is now what I say when I buy healthcare.
How to Make Every Interaction About Netflix’s “Tiger King”
3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.
It’s Me, the Intern from Two Years Ago, Totally Not Begging for a Job
How are you? How's the company? I'm asking not because I care, but because I want to ensure that you still work here. You're my most valuable contact.
I Am Your Coffee Shop Realtor
My business cards are written on giant chalkboards with a topical joke that changes when I feel like it, and I send all receipts to your email.
How to Tell Your Barista You Got a Keurig
Pull your wallet out when paying and flash your cute family photos. Have the last one be a photobooth selfie of you and your Keurig.
Parent or Broke, Inexperienced, Mediocre, Slightly Unethical, Overworked Public Defense Attorney?
Clients call at all hours night and day. / Spend 92% of day negotiating. / Know a lot of stuff but none of it seems to help when clients are crying.
We Can’t Open Until Someone Comes Up with a Bon Mot for the Sidewalk Chalkboard
If we don’t come up with an ingenious sign, no one will ever come in, meaning no one will share post shots of our killer foam art.