Recommendation Letter to an Ivy League School or Comment from Judges at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show?
I’ve spent years following and grading Mackenzie, and never have I witnessed such an unsurpassed, rare, elite pedigree.
Tag: Dogs
This Moving Half-Time Speech Failed to Inspire a High School Football Team Just Because They Saw Their Coach Kick a Dog Through the Goalpost Before the Game
First off, I didn’t know anybody was watching. And never in a million years would I have guessed that the penalty would be the loss of one hundred points for our team.
A Letter to Management Written by Your Disgruntled Dog
This new hire, a human-in-training or “cute smushy baby," has been rude, selfish, and has made zero meaningful contributions to the company.
Demands from the Newly Organized Union of Hero Dogs
Subsidies of children in wells: Kids aren’t placing themselves in imminent danger far from the attention of their parents/guardians anymore.
Dear Emily Elizabeth: Clifford the Big Red Dog Is a Menace to Our Neighborhood’s Off-Leash Area
It's a dog park, not Jurassic Park. Find somewhere else for your infernal Dogasaurus rex to run amok.
My One Unsolved Case That Keeps Me Up at Night: The Comedy Writer Who Killed That Darling
I didn't think much of it when we got a tip that the script was sitting in the bottom of a wastebasket in a Starbucks bathroom on Milwaukee Ave.
Is My Dog a Wolf?
Just like wolf mamas out in the wild, she has a den (our closet) where she keeps her babies (plushies, only the ones with faces).
My Friend’s Dog Is Actually Super Awkward to Hang with When My Friend Isn’t Around
I swear this dog knows every command except "speak?" I'm always carrying the conversation!
A Tribute to My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
Questions a Pet Owner Asks about Puppy Bath Time or Questions My Showerhead Asks about My Bath Time
Should I be worried that she sometimes sits there with the water spraying her in the face?
I’m a Dog Architect, and Here’s Why Your Whole House Should Be Windows
With your current design, there’s no way to know if someone is approaching. I don’t think a homeowner should ever put himself in a situation like that.
Signs Your Pets Are Planning a Coup
You find throwing stars in the scratching post. / Your search history reads: "kibble download free" "cat fail compilation" "overthrow fleshy tyrant king"