A Viable Self-Esteem Alternative for Women Who Miss the Occasional Sexual Harassment
I'm glad to know it's WOMEN who are responsible for the sexual harassment reform movement, and not the flagging appeal of my aging ass.
Tag: Weakness
Son, You Should Expect to See Your Grandma Get Hurt Soon
You love your grandparents more than your regular parents, which is why you need to prepare yourself when they break a body part right in front of you.
Dear Elon Musk, When Will AI Let Me Force Choke My Disobedient Children?
When will your muscle movement bracelets become widespread? And more importantly, will I be able to fit my children with them before I am driven to insanity?
Lost Your Mojo? Join the “Regain Your Mojo at the HoJo” Hotel Seminar
Stage hypnotists are using everything from scare tactics to the element of surprise to downright threats to unlock the door to the Mojo begging to be let back in.
An Open Letter to My Niece About Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived to Kill
While it may not make for polite conversation on Christmas morning, it’s important nonetheless that you understand, Harry Potter is a degenerate psychopath.
Five Tips for Nervous American Tourists Abroad
As a reformed predator of tourists, I feel it is my duty to make amends for all of my past wrongdoings by sharing some simple tips for traveling safely.
8 Things Every Voice in My Head Knows to Be True
If you’re one of the myriad auditory hallucinations that plague me day and night, you know these things all too well.
As a Man, Here’s Why I Don’t Pee Standing Up
Finally ladies, a man who undoubtedly will leave the seat down—not just for you, but for himself. Some guys just can't pee standing up.