I McThink There Was McSomething in That McChicken
Oh McNo. I’m not McFeeling so McWell. My McVision is all McBlurred and I have a McPain in my McAbdomen.
Tag: Weird
Strange UFO Encounters in Dooglesbury, Iowa
September 21st, 10:02 PM: “The Big Stinker” spotted again three miles away, hovering outside an elderly woman’s second-story window.
The Top 10 Numbers from 0 to 9
Seven puts an end to the question, “Can a number outstay its welcome?” with a resounding, eye-rolling yes.
I’ve Committed the Perfect Murder!
The final, most difficult step of my plan: don't act like a total creepy freak in front of other people all the time ever again.
I’m a Hypnotist Comedian, and You’re Finding This Hilarious
And as we count down from five, we allow ourselves to become even more amused… Four, letting all of the non-amusement just gently melt away…
These Babysitters Club Members Do Not Exist
Fennel: The least soluble kid in her grade. A boss baby who doesn’t care about boys or cornbread.
That There’s Oil. Texas Tea. Economy Slime. Hot Rockolate.
Iced lava. Coal brew. There Was Blood, A Long Time Ago. Dinosaur Smoothie. Tyrannosaurus rocks. Triceratopped off.
90 Years Later, Universal’s “Frankenstein” Remains a Poignant Tale of How Fucked Up It Would Be If There Was a Guy Whose Head Was Perfectly Flat on Top
Even today, when I see his head, my mind goes wild with possibilities, envisioning all the dirty dishes that I could set down upon it.
If the Phillie Phanatic Is Allowed to Get a Vasectomy, Whose Offspring’s Pelts Will I Use to Make a Luxurious Fur Coat?
The Phillie Phanatic can phuck off.
I Meant to Attach My Resume, Not My Manifesto About Eating People
The document that I sent you by mistake, “Human Meat and the Future of Farming,” may seem like a confession, but I assure you it is not.
A Tribute to My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
McDonald’s Menu Items Ranked by How Effective They Were at Giving Me the Nutrients I Needed to Break into Ronald McDonald’s Mansion and Try On His Clothes
A 30-Inch Footprint That I Touched and Then Tasted So I Could Begin Tracking Ronald: Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to murmur, “He’s near…”