Your bags are important to you, but they're unpaying dead cargo to us and we are proud to be the only airline that has outlawed luggage on our fleet!
Fundamental Economy Lite: During pre-boarding, passengers may not sit at the gate and must instead loiter at the nearest Hudson News outlet.
When the captain misspoke and said “tur-buh-lence,” instead of “turbulence,” I was like a shark smelling blood in the water.
Provide your real name. Slappy, Mr. Chuckles, Giggle Master, Miss Jiggles-a-Lot, and Happy Pappy are not legal names we recognize.
If you are an emperor, tsar, sultan, raja, or king and wield unconditional power over trembling masses, their majesties are kindly invited to board.
In the event of a water landing, beneath your seat is a compartment that contains a credit card application in a waterproof pouch.
All I need is for Bezos to read my kids a bedtime story and I will be up for the 2018 award for disconnected dad of the year.
Maybe, if you roll up your in-flight magazine and hit him really hard on the nose with your free hand--- Oh, Saint Jude! He’s unhinged his jaw now…
We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.
Our Economy Basic passengers are seated in a section of the plane teeming with luxury-hungry wolves, starving for cherished Basic ticket-holders.
Facing 20 to 1 underdog odds, the American Men's Curling team somehow took down powerhouses like Canada and Roomba for the gold medal.
My two-year-old then "dove" towards the airport floor, arms straight behind her as Moana's are when she swims down for the heart of Te Fiti.