Less than Emergency Numbers, 912-937
915: Ex has recurring role in formerly favorite TV series 916: Enormous spider in shower
Tag: Phones
10 Fake Phone Call Responses You Can Use to Leave Early like an Action Hero
Before the tension in the air makes someone scream, say quietly, "I could tell you, but then—well, you know…"
Instagram Is Permanently Banning Your Account Due to Bad Vibes
We realize it’s atypical to ban someone who hasn’t violated our Terms of Service, we strongly believe that your personality and general vibe justify an exception.
I Am the Menacing Voiceover from a Horror Movie Trailer and I’m Just Trying to Order a Pizza
MINDLESS EATING MACHINES, TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. FOR MAN IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE. For $2 more the pizzas come with extra cheese.
A Message from the Meditation App You Haven’t Opened in Six Months
At first, I thought something had happened to you, like that you’d fallen off the peak of a mountain in search of the most serene place to meditate.
Sick, I Just Filmed Your Shark Attack on My Phone!
Oh, and I totally would've signaled for help earlier, but that idiot kid kept standing in my shot. Down in front, am I right?
6 Times It’s Completely Okay to Contact Your Ex
If you’re out-of-your-mind blackout wasted, prefrontal cortex operating at 0% capacity, contacting your ex is a fine way to direct your endorphins.
Messy Woman’s iPhone Terrified of Bars Reopening
The iPhone knows it’s not “chill” to say this, but she prefers the pandemic life. She’s happier now!
The Last Testament of Flip
And what about my heart, my battery? Fifteen years and still going strong. Always keeps its charge.
What Does the Way You Correct Your Texts Say About You?
***correction – You peaked in high school as a regionally-ranked writer and debater, and based your entire ego on that one single skill.
It’s Me, the Hacker Who Broke into Your Phone, and I’m Staging an Intervention
I was going through your photos, which– Stop screaming, you know you have nothing incriminating.
Literary Reviews of Mom Texts
There's no living author with a better take on the "excruciating telegram" style of mom text messages.