The Five Stages of Grief for an Unanswered Tinder Message
Depression: Did I go too far by putting a puppy on my lap as I hold a guitar? Sure, I don’t know how to play guitar, but she doesn’t know that.
Tag: Observations
The Things You Notice On Your First Run in a While
You notice a phalanx of tiny Greek soldiers inside your body and they're stabbing you in the lungs with their historically accurate iron spears.
English Lit Grads: Choose a Career in Tech Support
There are at least two sides to a story. The client will think their version is the only true story. Don’t waste time convincing them of the truth.
Sexy and Confusing Lessons from the Online Fitness Industry
Supplements are filled with patented-yet-unpronounceable ingredients originally designed to make racehorses faster and more prone to heart attacks.
New York Times Presents 36 Hours Inside Your Own Head
Saturday, 3 pm --- Remembering the moment where everything could have gone differently
A 49-Year-Old’s Thoughts While Walking the Dog
Maybe I’ll save a kid from drowning by jumping from a bridge. A local hero, on the news...wait, no one under 70 watches the news: trend on Twitter.
Six Reasons Why Running a Half Marathon May Be Right for You
Your complimentary shirt will consist almost entirely of sponsor names. You can take part in the latest trend: advertising local plumbing services.
If You See Something, Say Something
If you see something, say something, but if you see it again, say something different. Talk about the weather or a book you just read. We get it.
Do Not Buy a Star for Your Wife on Mother’s Day
If you do purchase a star on Star Registry for your wife, don’t tell her you named it Cougar15 because she's a cougar and you’ve been married for 15 years.
A Voicemail Greeting from a Person Who Hates Voicemails
It takes less than five seconds to read the average text message, while it takes more than 13 hours to listen to the average voicemail.
A Brief History of the Metric System
One pound is equal to 7000 grains of barley. Yep, barley. Grains of wheat is a different calculation. And why 7000? Hey, it’s your system, don’t look at me.
The Worst Part About Aging is the Awful Birthday Cards
For those of us over 60, cards could say, “Congratulations on outwitting the grim reaper, keep up the good work!”