I Am Very Special
This mug featured nine cats smiling at me and each other with the encouraging words, “You’re very special,” written in delicate script above them.
Tag: Stories
The Girl Scout Cookies: Where Are They Now?
Thin Mint talks first. She looks healthy but is no longer the waifish figure from past boxes. Despite her added curves, she's lost none of her snap.
Aesop’s Fables, Updated for a Capitalist World
Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.
A Non-Surcharged Account of the Final MoviePass All-Hands Meeting
MoviePass CEO Mitch Lowe felt like Tom Cruise in these days of thunder. Saving his business seemed an impossible mission, even with the right moves.
Monologues: The Death of My Hair and My A/C Euthanasia Machine
The great reviews it got were a combination of people pleased with its cooling capabilities as well as it’s craftsmanship as a self-death machine.
I’m Really Not as Healthy as I Look
I read that there’s a path to your brain behind your eye, which may or may not be true, and I may or may not have read it, but no one can deny eyes are important.
I’m an Uber Customer Service Associate and I’ve Been on the Phone with Clint Eastwood for 3 Years
I saw my own reflection on the screen of my computer and I was reminded of the oath I took when I accepted this job at Uber.
What Am I Supposed to Do with a Ventriloquist Dummy That’s NOT Haunted?
After buying a creepy antique doll, I was extremely disappointed to find out that there is nothing supernatural lurking behind its dead eyes.
Four Miraculous Tales of Survival by Young Children in Peril
Relying solely on their wits and instincts, these brave kids overcame incredible odds to survive life-threatening situations.
My Bhutanese Drama Students Want to Recreate “Son of the Mask” and I Have No Idea What to Do
How can I adapt "Son of the Mask" into a 10-minute play with a bunch of Bhutanese 13-year-olds who speak limited English?
How H&R Cockblock Saved My Taxes and Stole My Woman
Somehow I just couldn't stay pissed off at frat guy. He was my tax wingman, even though he totally killed my self-esteem.
An Ode to the Five Pairs of Shoes Who’ve Been With Me Through Everything
I applaud you, as you were comfortable, people complimented you, and you made me appear like I had my shit together, which I did not.