Sharks Aren’t Nearly as Scary as Canadian Geese and Yet They’re the Ones with a Week of TV
Some people say that sharks take nibbles to satisfy their curiosity. Rest assured, we're coming to bite you because we want to bite you.
Tag: Canada
Are Harry and Meghan Canada’s Newest Immigrants?
Your years of unemployment in your home country put you at a distinct disadvantage. And we can find no official immigrant category of “prince.”
Ramones 2020
Do You Remember Rock ’n’ Roll Radio? (It was Kind of Like Spotify) / The KKK Took My Baby Away (And Way Too Many People Seem Okay with That)
Beloved Canadian Horror Films
Better find a good cuddle buddy for "The Strangers 3: Come On In The Door’s Unlocked!", "The Exorcism of Celine Dione," and "Get Out, Please."
Economy Hotel Chain Celebrates 100 Days Since Last Homicide With Double Award Points
I want to assure Rewards Members that we are now extending free counseling to all members and not just Gold-Level as with past homicides.
How the Hell Did the Hot Guy Lose?
The people of Texas have disappointed millions of people who wanted their fates sealed by a hot guy for once.
God Checks In on the Plan for You, A Person Who Is Not Drake
You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.
What Did You Do This Summer?
You ran a marathon? Impressive! How was it? I bet. The first five are always the hardest, then you move on to Ironmans.
Quarterly Review
I thought this was a quarter but it’s actually a POG. I traded it to my friend Dennis for a real quarter.
Angry Tweets from a Passenger on the Oregon Trail
We only have 700 miles left! Might be dehydration or crippling fever but think I love these friggin people! Thank you @OTBoltWagons! #final4
A Brief History of the Metric System
One pound is equal to 7000 grains of barley. Yep, barley. Grains of wheat is a different calculation. And why 7000? Hey, it’s your system, don’t look at me.
What to Make of America’s 2018 Olympic Men’s Curling Gold?
Facing 20 to 1 underdog odds, the American Men's Curling team somehow took down powerhouses like Canada and Roomba for the gold medal.