Welcome to the Writing Workshop Where We Don’t Write
Give in to this workshop not by writing, but by taking turns asking for more condiments, plates, and silverware as I stash them in my purse.
Tag: Classes
Syllabus for Zombie Apocalypse Survival 101
Office Hours: By appointment only, instructor often scavenges the Wastes during daylight hours.
The Recent Painting Vandalisms Are a Cheap Imitation of My Performance at My Daughter’s School Art Fair
I knew blanketing a third-grade class’s first art exhibition with cans of pasta would be controversial, but that’s why I did it
Your Campus Tour
The college was rebuilt in 1795 by local train tycoon Silas Tother when he needed a place to quietly send his troublesome boys, Phinneas and Hellmouth.
Superintendant Declare’s English Most Less Important School Subject
The Supernentendent said theirs lots too think about but its a clear choice to remove English if they will remove a class
Your School District’s Superintendent Introduces His Top Ten New Substitute Teachers
Our Tallest 2nd Grader: I mean, have you seen this kid? He can even spell “tyrannosaur.” Anyway, he’ll be teaching AP Bio.
Your Final Semester of Dental School Will Focus Primarily on the Care and Maintenance of Your Future Office Aquarium
We will cover advanced topics in endodontics, and the selection, upkeep, and disposal of the countless tropical fish in your new dental office.
THTR 402: Intro to the Corporate Workplace for Theater Majors
We’ll utilize sense memory to translate your theater experiences of gossiping, backstabbing, and “stage crushing” into the workplace.
Anyone Who Says They Like “Fun Facts” Is Lying
The reality is that most of us haven’t been skydiving, invented a new technology, gotten bit by a shark, or know how to tap dance.
Your Graduation Application Has Been Received and Will Be Reviewed in No Less and Probably More Than 5 Months
Seeing as though you sent in your application approximately 56 seconds after we sent out the form, you were a little too late.
An Important Message from Your University President, Who Is Shocked That What Everyone Said Would Happen Is Happening
For starters, many of you have been attending parties. We told you not to do that! We thought you’d listen to us.
You’re Invited to Join Our Exclusive Learning Pod
The secret to surviving homeschool is money. The secret to surviving pandemic parenting is also money.