Our Farewell Tour Has Been Postponed
Sad news to report to Arrowhead fans: At a Cincinnati concert, bassist Valmer DeSota got his long hair stuck in the strings of his bass.
Comedy Writing
Notable Events from NASA’s Early Space Program
1851: As railroads begin crisscrossing the nation, NASA constructs its own line of over 300 feet of railroad track going straight upward.
Things I Think While Watching a “Black Mirror” Episode
Oh maybe that guy's not a robot. Now I don't think this one's about robots at all.
Your Monthly Productivity Review
Time off task (12 minutes): Nerve sensors detected hunger prior to your lunch break. Hunger is personal time.
So Who’s the Real Monster in All This?
Who is the real monster here? The tentacled creature lurking in the vapor outside… or were you all the real monster this whole time?
Pictures with Santa Packages, from Best to Cheapest
This Santa is cloned from DNA from the original St. Nicholas, and raised in captivity in our North Pole mock-up.
You Can Achieve All Your Dreams with No Sleep
It's the second night that gets tricky. That's when the bats come.
Common Complaints About Our Clones
My clone is always ill. Plus, our clones are deficient in blood, because we didn’t give them enough blood, so they are often woozy.
‘Tis the Season to Eat a Whole Lot of Snow!
Isn't it beautiful? Doesn't it make you want to grab your snow-spoon and scoop as much as you can up into your mouth?
What We Used to Call Him
We used to call him Champ, because he led the basketball team to the championships. Then we called him Let Down, because he missed the winning shot.
Rent the Newest Mobile Rideshare Option: A Stack of Tires and a Pole!
Here's how it works: use the app to locate the nearest stack of tires and a pole that I've dropped off all across the city. Then assemble!
I Caught a Self-Driving Car
You don't release a fleet of driverless vehicles on a city and not expect someone to try to lasso one and wrestle it to a stop.