This Year I Finally Enter the Public Domain
What exciting interpretations will these visionaries have for my scoliosis, receding hairline, and fallen arches?
Comedy Writing
This Year Let’s Have a Nice, Relaxing, Low-Key New Year’s Eve Orgy
Just you, me, a $20 bottle of pinot noir, and 5-8 professional sex associates that we host for a no-holes-barred 12-hour touchfest.
I’m a Gourmet Pepper Mill Who Doesn’t Belong at This Thanksgiving Dinner
What’s that they’re talking about now? "Where’s Aunt June’s fun dip?” The fuck is fun dip? Christ in heaven, this is Thanksgiving!
I’m 90% Sure the Blood Bank’s New Email Marketer Is Dracula
FALL Under The Spell Of The New York Blood Center’s Impending Autumn Drive. Ah-Ah-AH!
The Superhero Known as The Vegan Fends Off Home Invaders
“Vegan! Give us ze classified recipes and ve vill let you live!” The Vegan’s former best friend-turned-nemesis, General Draganov, shouts.
We Are Time-Traveling High School Students with an Urgent Plea: Stop Making History
We're only a few weeks into our "Modern World: January to December 2020" AP course and holy shit is it kicking our asses.