Hey Facebook! I know no one asked for this and none of you care…
But I'm self-centered and annoying so here are my favorite things I pretended to watch, listen to and read this year!
Top 5 Movies of the Year
- (Movie critics liked)
- (A movie everyone liked)
- (A movie that isn't out yet, but he swears is playing in “select cinemas” but refuses to name the “select cinema” he saw it in)
- (A movie critics liked so everyone pretends they saw it but they actually didn't because tbh it looks hella boring)
- (A movie no one saw)
Top 5 Shows of the Year
- (Season four of a drama you don't keep up with)
- (Season one of a comedy he thinks is edgy but is actually just problematic)
- (Sitcom that's only available on an obscure streaming platform no one has)
- (Drama that was really good and you liked a lot)
- (Some cartoon that's only listed to make you aware that he's self-aware enough to admit that children's media has good storytelling but it also makes you wonder where he found the time to watch that much television)
Top 5 Albums of the Year
- (Rap album that he hopes listing on his Facebook will excuse his casual, everyday racism)
- (Mainstream pop album that's actually pretty catchy)
- (Rap album)
- (Indie album you've never heard of and aren't convinced actually exists)
- (Whatever the hell Taylor Swift put out this year)
Top 5 Books of the Year
- (Book that got really good reviews)
- (Non-fiction book about a war)
- (“Non”-fiction pop psychology book)
- (Book that actually came out two years ago but is popular again because 20th Century FOX just bought the film rights)
- (Whatever the hell Bill O'Reilly wrote this year)
Resources