As a “Short King” Please Understand I Am Duty Bound to the Magna Carta
Con: Quite frequently we will have leave during movie night to oversee the search for knights and an exorcist.
Tag: England
10 Signs You’ve Been Binge-Watching “The Crown” and Need to Stop, Immediately
You were so busy pretending to be a British royal, you didn't even notice that your wife and kids left you and that she changed the Netflix password on her way out.
Thomas the Tank Engine Reduces His Carbon Footprint
When he is not hauling freight, Thomas will lock himself inside of The Big Station and think about the damage he has done to our planet.
Which Quarantine Type Are You: Health Nut, Couch Potato, or 19th Century Working-Class British Child, Based on My Impression from BBC Period Dramas?
I’ve stayed in touch with friends by… A) Hosting non-alcoholic Zoom happy hours. B) FaceTiming an ex at 2AM. C) Spitting peas at my chum’s window.
I Visited the Most Haunted Village in England
I climbed in the window of that cottage over there and the lady inside screamed. I don't know why. There were no ghosts in there. I checked.
Listen Up, Peons: A Statement from the Queen
It is true that I carry a mobile phone, which I use to stay in touch with my grandchildren. It is not true that I use it to play Candy Crush.
Excerpt from “Norse Mythology for Bostonians: A Transcription of the Impudent Edda”
Brady: Known as Balder & nicknamed the White or the Beautiful, Brady is the most attractive of the gods, and most popular since he started playing QB.
Job Opening: British Crown Prince, Urgently Hiring
How did you hear about this opening? Indeed, LinkedIn, or National Inquirer?
Are Harry and Meghan Canada’s Newest Immigrants?
Your years of unemployment in your home country put you at a distinct disadvantage. And we can find no official immigrant category of “prince.”
My Family Calls Him “Old-Fashioned,” But I Just Call My Uncle “Racist”
I have lived my entire adult life as if I were born in 1813 England as a gentlemanly Port Warden. And yet my uncle is the one called “old-fashioned.”
You Forgot the Anniversary of the Boston Tea Party, Didn’t You?
Next you’re going to tell me that you don’t remember William Molineux organizing prominent Whig meetups at the Old South Meeting House.
A Recruitment Letter from the Williams College Combat Juggling Team
I caught your last prep school match against Groton, and let me be plain: you are a truly gifted combat juggler, a “once-in-a-century” talent.