John Lazarus | Points in Case

John Lazarus Suzhou, China

John Lazarus is tired of authors less talented than him stealing all his acclaim, and he's tired of all the cowards too scared to buy his books. Check out more of his demented musings at dragoneaglepublishing.com.

Comedy Writing

Itemized Police Budget Report for June 2020

Bespoke Tom Ford rapid response tactical outerwear - $475,000 / “Good cop, bad cop” improv lessons - $36,000 / Body camera software updates - $3.50

by John Lazarus
|
June 12, 2020

I Ate Nothing but Gummy Worms for a Month and Here’s What Happened

Day Two: To smooth things over with my girlfriend, I write "You'll always be my Number One worm" in gummies on the kitchen floor.

by John Lazarus
|
March 3, 2020

Would You All Please Chill Out About My Paperclip Manufacturing Algorithm?

People ask why I need the world’s most powerful artificial intelligence to manufacture a simple product. Obviously, those people aren’t businessmen.

by John Lazarus
|
February 25, 2020