The following is the accounting of the latest meeting of the Conspiracy Theorist Support Group, which took place on [REDACTED] at [REDACTED], located at [REDACTED].
18:00 [REDACTED] calls the meeting to order
18:02 [REDACTED] reads the minutes from the last meeting for approval
18:04 Minutes are not approved as [REDACTED] has challenged the accounting and believes that someone has edited the minutes
18:10 [REDACTED] accuses [REDACTED] of saying this because they are a plant from the government
18:15 [REDACTED] calls for a recess and dismisses everyone for cookies and punch which were kindly provided by [REDACTED]
18:18 One half of the group which is lead by [REDACTED] refuses to eat any snacks because they can’t trust what’s inside them
18:19 The group that chose not to eat snacks has gone outside to smoke and vape
18:25 [REDACTED] calls the meeting to order again
18:26 Before any of the topics can be discussed, [REDACTED] claims the group that returned from smoking and vaping doesn’t look the same as when they left
18:27 [REDACTED] accuses [REDACTED] of having a forked tongue, which [REDACTED] informs the rest of the group is the only thing that lizard people cannot cover up when they are in human form
18:29 [REDACTED] says the only reason [REDACTED] is accusing them of being a lizard is because of the neurological implant they received when they got their flu vaccine
18:30 [REDACTED] takes offense to someone saying they received a vaccine
18:33 The argument between [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] has spilled over to the entire group
18:38 The argument is interrupted by a ringing phone
18:39 [REDACTED] realizes it is their phone and silences it
18:40 [REDACTED] sees [REDACTED] silence their phone and notices the 5G symbol
18:41 [REDACTED] throws a punch at [REDACTED]
18:42 [REDACTED] says that [REDACTED] has the same punching style as Jeffrey Epstein
18:43 The group is trying to pull the mask off the face of [REDACTED], who they now think is Jeffrey Epstein
18:45 [REDACTED] is saved when [REDACTED] stops everyone by telling them that this is what George Soros wants so he can weaken them
18:47 [REDACTED]’s mom opens the basement door and yells for everyone to stop
18:48 The group starts putting chairs and tables back into place. [REDACTED] grabs a mop to clean up the spilled punch
19:00 [REDACTED] reviews the events that transpired and announces the date and location of the next meeting, which will be on [REDACTED] at [REDACTED]’s house since [REDACTED] said their parents are gone for the weekend
Secretary’s Note: This may have been our most productive meeting to date.