Your Mama Jokes from Guy Who Is Clearly in Love with Your Mom
Your mama’s so broke she doesn’t even make cents! Which is a shame because she’s worked hard for everything in this life.
Tag: Parents
Tips for Toddlers to Limit Parents’ Screen Time
Be More Interesting Than Whatever Is On Their Screens: You do have one huge advantage over their screens: a direct and genetic link to their vanity.
Joseph and Mary Ask Jesus to Come Home for Hanukkah
Your father and I are trying to plan Hanukkah. Think you’ll be able to join us in Nazareth for the last night? You also have a birthday coming up.
Cannabis Is Medicine, Mom—Period
I think you should ask your doctor about how your lower GI issues could be alleviated with a daily regimen of Green Crack.
Baby Gifts I Registered For vs. Gifts My Baby Actually Wanted
Registered: A brand new crib with a breathable, hypoallergenic mattress / My Baby Wanted: Our dog’s bed, full of dog hair and slobbery toys
I’d Like to Have Kids, but I’m Not Sure It’s Ethical to Bring Children into a World Where Their Dad Would Be Me
I just don’t think I can morally justify knowingly bringing children into a world where their dad would be me.
8-Year-Old Going Trick or Treating, or 28-Year-Old Looking for a Good Paying Job?
You’re ashamed to be wearing something from Goodwill while everyone you know is wearing something gifted to them by their rich parents.
I’m the Adult in This Horror Movie and You Kids Better Not Be Doing Anything Supernatural in There
You’re young, your hormones are raging. All you want to do is figure out what the shadowy figure following you through mirrors is saying.
An Open Letter to Yo Momma: I’m Sorry
Looking back, I can see it was I, not yo momma, who is so dumb that I stood on a chair to raise my IQ.
Your Baby Shower Isn’t About Me—But It Should Be
We don't even know him, what if this kickass party goes to waste because your baby ends up being a loser or something?
Ruling of Judge Mom, in the Superior Court of Target, on Motion for LOL Surprise O.M.G. Doll
As a point of procedure, motions for new toys normally require a one-week notice period. See Maddy v. Mom (Safeway, 2021).
Ten Little Monkeys, the Psychological Thriller
Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said, “If this is some sort of prank call, it’s not funny. I’m a busy doctor helping patients with real problems.”