Chicago, Illinois

Simonne matriculated from Lawrence University in Appleton Wisconsin, where she earned her bachelor's degree by using ten dollar words like "matriculate." It was at Lawrence where Simonne created The Rollercoaster of Drama as a creative outlet for not taking life too seriously. It was well received by both Ivy League elitists and beauty school dropouts. After a five year sabbatical, she's currently living in Los Angeles, trying to take the movie industry not too seriously. Her attempts have been ill-received and she has been advised to eat less. There is truth in comedy and it will prevail.

Comedy Writing

CrossFit is a Cult

Did you hear the one about the woman who was engaged to a man who decided to marry CrossFit instead? Settle in, I'll tell you her story.

My Parents’ Obituary

The Cullens are survived by their only daughter, Simonne, who said, "At least they died doing what they loved most: arguing...and buying other people's junk."

Nobody Knows My Mile-High Sorrows

My job as a flight attendant sucks. People think I’m zipping around the universe, but the truth is I don’t fly anywhere noteworthy. Never Honolulu, not Cabo, just Canada.

Awkward Conversations

You might not like wince-worthy situations like these, but they are necessary to everyday life. Remember, the safest sex is awkward sex.

Internship vs. Hardship

Fresh from the real world market, it's all the glitz and glam that comes with being lowest on the corporate ladder: the full-time intern.

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