Imagine the Marlon Brando of banner ads. The Hillary Swank of product placement. The Jared Leto of advertising agencies.

You've just imagined us.

Hello. We are Mad Method Men—the only creative company ready to leave our lives behind and inhabit the essence of consumer goods.

Whether covering every inch of skin our body in Flamin' Hot® Cheeto dust or wearing big red bows and humming like a Chrysler on a snowy road around holidays—our peers have called our work controversial, physically harmful, and “having little or nothing to do with advertising.” Like all challenging art.

It can be tough for data-driven marketers who play by the book to wrap their minds around method advertising. They say, “Calling a junior strategist ‘Soda Can' and insisting they hold Fanta in their mouth all day can't lead to revenue,” and “How can locking that employee in a vending machine be allowed?”

To that, we say if an idea makes you highly uncomfortable—especially when you have to avoid eye contact with Soda Can in the vending machine, or you'll ruin it—it's a good sign. Because building brand authenticity with consumers means going too far in your efforts is almost impossible.

We say “almost” because while going full method as Rice Krispie treats in Kroger's snack aisle, Glen the intern was shoplifted. We are pressing pause on this form of method advertising pending Glen's return.

If you have any information, please contact our HR department.

As marketing chameleons with shifting personalities, we're used to extreme adaptation. Going to extremes like divorcing our spouses if your target audience is guys who wrecked their marriage. But our work can leave a mark on our employees if not properly compartmentalized. Anything from sleep deprivation to paranoia and shame can occur for our people who do this full-time. But none of that liability is yours!

And don't think for a second our method won't work in more direct forms of advertising, too. Our team's email headlines would make Stanislavski blush.

Through method advertising, we learned to cut through the noise in crowded inboxes by making lots of noise in cramped locations where we weren't invited. Libraries, intimate weddings, large funerals—we harness attention in these spaces by shouting punny one-liners, seeing what turns heads, then applying our learnings to your campaign.

Feel that? That's your number of impressions going to the moon.

We're not for everyone. We only partner with brave clients. Clients who take risks. Who innovate. Who aren't gonna ask questions when we say that to understand what they want, we need to become them too. We'll tend to your homes—taking your job and salary and sleeping with your significant other.

As the lone agency in the world specializing in this bleeding-edge advertising approach, we have only intimate understanding of method advertising. We're so specialized that no one here knows how to do anything else. For example, we can't operate any of the standard graphic design tech and other software that advertising requires—you will need to hire another company for that.

But if you want to finally know what it's like to actually be a computer program—let's get to work.