Nowhere Am I Safe from Assumptions
When I go to work people assume, just because I drive an ice cream truck, that I must really love ice cream, or that I sell ice cream.
Comedy Writing
Governor, I’m Sick of All These Double Standards
Protests are okay but I can't go to the Olive Garden because I use the breadsticks for things that are "objectionable" and "extremely upsetting?"
Sharks, I’m the Tooth Fairy and I’m Looking for Investors
Ever gaze over your huge pile of thousands of children's teeth and ask yourself, "How can I make this mountain of kid teeth even larger?"
The Six Differences between Andre the Giant and Louis Pasteur
Andre The Giant contributed significantly less to the collective knowledge of germ theory.