The “Get Intellectual Quick” Scheme
Pretend to know about books and stuff, and teachers will give you better grades, and people of the opposite sex might actually sleep with you.
Tag: Satire and Parody
Order Your Robot Girlfriend Today!
Human relationships getting stale? Save time, breath, and money by investing in the emotional and sexual stability of a lifelike robot model.
Why Does Everyone Want Me So Bad?
I conducted a little survey to find out how badly I am wanted. I took this survey and I found that 100% of people want me. I mean it’s basic math.
Macy’s World’s Largest Bombing Display
Macy's takes on the NYPD in front of cheering thousands in this spectacularly dangerous annual tradition.
Pear Mango Passion: The Animal Testing Prank
The Alberto V05 shampoo-makers get a prank call about their animal testing policy. All the dog wants is some fruity conditioner and a good pampering!
Soft Drinks: Oversized and Out of Control!
How do you stop the extra-large soft-drink phenomenon in America? Maybe we can use it to our advantage...
Career Opportunities at 7-Eleven
A career opportunity announcement from 7-Eleven. New combat training and intensive care units make 7-Eleven the perfect career move.
Bigger is Better: Drinking or Driving
If you're going to drink and drive, be a man about it. Seriously, the bigger the better.
I Am the DUC Cafeteria
A first-person narrative in which a college student becomes the mind of his school's cafeteria, the Dobbs University Center (aka 'the DUC').
The Buck Stops Here, Mr. Authoritarian Administration!
A rallying call to apathetic students at small, pointless colleges everywhere: your Evil Administration is trying to turn your campus into a 'non-campus campus'!
Stop Sneezing: A Deadly New Research Study
A news/research article. You think cell phones are the cause of most traffic accidents? You must not know about the 'quadruple-sneeze.'