Did You Have to Invite Your Foley Artist Friends to Our Dinner Party?
Now every time I walk, they thump a loafer on a piece of linoleum. I mean dammit, their timing is perfect but you know I’m sensitive about my gait.
Comedy Writing
Ways I Imagined I Might Die When I Was a Kid
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
I’m Victor Frankenstein, and I’m Pretty Sure I’m Nailing This Humanoid Reanimation Project
I'm advancing science entire centuries without bumping into any serious questions of morality and ethics. How unbelievable is that?
Welcome to My Hotel Art Review Blog
I run this blog with the same passion that I put into competing in semi-annual regional painting competitions hosted by local newspapers.
FAQ: My Nextdoor Neighbor Is a Russian Oligarch
He also borrowed my weed whacker. How do you get it back from an oligarch? Weed whacking is activity of peasant, not fitting of powerful oligarch .
I Am Your Coffee Shop Realtor
My business cards are written on giant chalkboards with a topical joke that changes when I feel like it, and I send all receipts to your email.
Famed Explorer Loses Entire Crew at IKEA
Wanting to avoid doing three year's worth of laundry, I shall strike out once again, this time to conquer IKEA.
Cancelling Teddy Roosevelt’s Elementary School Gym Class
It's just that you've brought too much of that raw, "I survived a war where they still used horses" spirit to your position here.