We’re Your Caramels from Three Christmases Ago, and It’s Very Unclear If We’re Still Good
We figured you just weren’t hungry or something, considering how often you used to snack on us.
Comedy Writing
Remembering Scrimby’s, the 90s’ Greatest Fast Food Chain
They found their secret sauce in nature, and they always said they would have to close up shop once the cave they mined it out of dried up.
Remembering My Favorite Childhood Game System
In the beginning, my friends didn’t want to come over and play, saying that my new games were “weird” and “hard to play” and “haunting.”
My Grublin’s Day Memories
Like Thanksgiving or Easter, Grublin's Day was on a different day every year, sometimes even in a different month or year.
They Didn’t Have the Potato Chips We Usually Get, So I Made Sure to Grab the Most Disgusting Ones I Could Find
Neither of us like wasabi, but these are wasabi with cinnamon and pineapple, so I have a feeling the other two flavors will overpower the wasabi.
A Tribute to My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
Sometimes I Think About My Childhood Best Friend and Wonder “Whatever Happened to That Guy?”
No one was as close to me as Elliott. We were two peas in a pod, a regular pair of pals, two elephants in a diaper.
A Tribute to Mr. Thompson: Teacher, Mentor, Possible Necromancer
It was never clear what subject he was supposed to be teaching, since on our schedules it was spelled in mysterious runes that burned your eyes.