I have a bug in my mug.
I have electric eels in my high heels.
I have a giraffe in my carafe.
I shouldn’t have bought a zoo.
I have a snake in my milkshake.
I have a koala bear in my underwear.
That Matt Damon documentary made it look easy.
I have a parrot holding a carrot.
I have a puffin eating my muffin.
I shouldn’t have constructed the zoo in my condo.
I have a hen in my den.
I have a hawk in my caulk.
Does IKEA sell an aviary?
I have an asp on my hair clasp.
I have a bobcat on my bathmat.
I think this may have affected the resale value of my condo.
I have an ox destroying my Xbox.
I have a moose on the loose.
I haven’t slept in seventy-nine hours. Do cockatoos usually look this blurry?
I have a kangaroo wearing my shoe, and my socks, and my best suit. He’s using my social security number to apply for a bank loan.
I have an otter listening to the police blotter. She gives a thumbs up to the others.
Am I the zookeeper or the zookept?
I have a crane swinging a bike chain. He smiles at me. The bird has teeth.
I have a beaver holding my meat cleaver. He’s nodding at the walrus, saying “It’s time.”
I have a zoo in my condo.
I am in a zoo in my condo.
I am…I am so itchy…oh.
I have ants in my pants.