Dear Work Frenemy,
Since the return to the office, I feel like I'm being left out of some social things, like going for coffee or funny memes in group texts that are later referenced. What can I do to try to be included without seeming pushy?
—Desperately Seeking Work Friends
Dear Desperately,
That's so weird. Are you going to the afternoon boba sesh?
No? I thought I saw your name on there. I'll ask Chelsea about it if I see her—though I've got so many meetings today! 😂
But you know how that is, right? I'm so glad we chose you to be the permanent note-taker at all our department meetings. You're so good at it!
BTW, where did you get the top you're wearing today? It's so…colorful! It's just so…you, you know?
Later, dummy. <–that's what I call my work buds
—Work Frenemy
Dear Work Frenemy,
I'm beginning to suspect my partner of cheating on me. Lately, he's been withholding affection, and whenever I walk into the room, he hides his mobile phone. I asked him if we could go out to dinner tonight for the first time in weeks, but he claims he's got work plans—which he's never had after hours before. Is it crazy to break up with someone for cheating without any actual proof? I'm not great at confrontation—and what if I'm wrong?
—Suspicious Mind
Dear Suspicious,
I totally get what you're saying. I mean, your boyfriend just seems like one of those guys who would step out on you, know what I mean? I mean, he's just SO good-looking. As soon as I saw him, I was like, whaaaat? She's with him? You know?
Listen, I would go with your heart. If you think he's cheating, dump him, you know? It sounds like neither of you are happy right now. 😢
Also, if you do break up and you need to take some time off work, I can totally take over as chair for the EOY project you're successfully wrapping up! Everyone will understand—I can even do the big presentation to the CEO. Just say when.
You poor lamb! I would totally take you out for an after-work drink, but unfortunately, I've got… a thing. But raincheck, ‘kay?
Tell Brian hi from me.
—Work Frenemy
Dear Work Frenemy,
I don't know if it's the never-ending barrage of scary world news, my concerns about the Supreme Court and the run-off election in Georgia, or work…but lately, I feel so overwhelmed. Is this normal? Is everyone feeling this way? This can't just be me, can it?
—Is the World Crazy, or Is It Just Me?
Dear Just Me,
I hear you. I mean, honestly, just being you must take so much bravery, you know? I don't think I could do it.
The news is, like, such a downer, too, right? It's like, how are these terrible people even in power? Putin… I mean, he's not even that cute, right? Or that North Korea guy—he's not even in shape! No offense—I noticed you aren't exactly a fan of working out—but you know what I mean. It's like, why are we even paying attention to them, you know?
BTW, did you see the sad news on CNN this morning?
Listen, I can take over the Braverman account for you since you have so much on your plate right now. Or I would be glad to talk to our boss about how you're struggling, so you don't have to.
No? Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind.
We work buddies gotta stick together, amirite?
Also, that doughnut shop you used to like before your diet is giving an employee discount now. 🍩 Yum!
—Work Frenemy