Hey, Did You Take My Yogurt?
Maybe before departing, the yogurt left a note for its live-in yogurt boyfriend, who was at his company kickball league going absolutely beast mode.
Tag: Gambling
Everything You Need to Know about Stocks for 2021
Diversification is the key. Celery, onions, and carrots are going to be solid performers and there is no reason not to have some low-risk options.
Relax, I Was Only Hospitalized Because My Bookie’s Hired Goon Shot Me Three Times
I was not leaving my house, both to avoid getting infected with COVID-19 and to avoid running into Joey “Iron Fists” Cachatolli.
What Your NCAA Bracket Champion Says About You
Cincinnati Bearcats: You’ve watched a tournament game in a strip club. Iowa Hawkeyes: You lost money investing in Matthew Whittaker’s toilet company.
Acceptable Reasons to Wake Up Your Parents in the Middle of the Night
You checked the closet and it wasn’t a monster, it was nine blue goblins. They play poker every Thursday night and they apologized for the noise.
Jerry Maguire Quotes That Literally Sum Up My Boys’ Weekend in Atlantic City
“Show Me the Money!” I kept shouting this because I thought it was pretty funny (I mean, we were in the casino and I was trying to win the big bucks)
Ranking the 2018 Kentucky Derby Horses by Name
9. Vino Rosso (12-1) – Means "red wine" in Italian and "try-hard" in English.
Five Predicaments Every Pensive Pipe Smoker Will Acknowledge As Familiar
What should have been a detailed account of how you navigated the labyrinth of deception and red herrings is forever tainted by an itchy throat.
Las Vegas Spring Break Alibis
A list of alibis for the common events you will encounter during your Spring Break trip to Las Vegas, ensuring that your friends and family will never find out just how much of a monster you really are.
A Winner’s Guide to Casino-Riches
Forget everything you know about gambling and put on your winner's hat. If you bet on red long enough, there's no way you'll end up in the black.
Celebrity Death Pool 2007
Everybody dies, but the big question is when and how. Why not put your money where your top ten celebrity corpses lay?
Viva Las Vegas: Land of Free Drinks, Giant Buffets, and Slots Galore
If you really want to live, you have to Viva Las Vegas: free drinks, huge buffets, and loose slots. Slots, I said... CHEAP, LOOSE SLOTS.