Are You Starring in a Horror Movie or Sharing a House with Small Children?
Someone or something begins to rattle the door back and forth as if trying to force it open. Suddenly, it stops.
Mary Flannery is an L.A. woman and writer lost in Switzerland. Her funny and slightly-less-funny words have appeared in McSweeney’s, 251, the TLS, and WaPo. She tweets medievally as @15thcgossipgirl.
Someone or something begins to rattle the door back and forth as if trying to force it open. Suddenly, it stops.
Thanks to you and the Magical Musical Mat™, every minute of my life is now a beeping, squawking, nonstop honking nightmare.
There is dirt everywhere, all the time. At no point is anybody completely clean (not even the rich people).
Before the tension in the air makes someone scream, say quietly, "I could tell you, but then—well, you know…"