Patrick Coyne | Points in Case

Patrick Coyne is a writer from Philadelphia. His work has appeared in Mcsweeney's, National Lampoon, Cracked, Splitsider, and other sites.

Comedy Writing

Wedding Vows Written by the World’s Worst Podcaster

Kara, from today onward, you and I will be one in heart, body, and mind. Hey, can we curse on this thing?

by Patrick Coyne
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January 6, 2024

This Car Sticker of Guns Is My Family, and It Is Just as Sad as It Sounds

My sticker is hilarious because instead of a normie cartoon of my nonexistent wife and darling children, I’ve got two big guns.

by Patrick Coyne
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January 9, 2023

So You’re Telling Me a Shrimp Fried This Rice, Stole Your Credit Card, Then Spent a Thousand Dollars at a Strip Club?

So first you met a crustacean down at the beach and the two of you “really hit it off.” Let’s unpack that a bit.

by Patrick Coyne
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July 13, 2021

I’m the “Him” From the “Trainers HATE Him” Ads, and I’m Sorry

I must confess: I'm the "him" that personal trainers hate from all those ads. I stumbled upon a simple trick to cruise past weightlifting plateaus and gain 42 pounds of muscle in just one month.

by Patrick Coyne
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June 21, 2017