What Your Behavior at a Sit-Down Concert Says About You
Clapping along: You’re confident. Some would say overconfident. Holding up a lighter: You have a peace sign bumper sticker on your car.
Comedy Writing
Security Questions Updated for the Modern Age
Which of your family members is now a part of QAnon? What is your first guess on Wordle?
Prepare for Your Mouth’s Ecosystem to Be Decimated by Our Daring New Doritos Flavors
Everyone’s favorite sauce now in chip form! Hot Hot Hollandaise has a triple dose of cayenne for a thoroughly throat-scorching encounter.
How to Wash Your Wool Blanket in 10 Simple Steps
The wool fibers prefer an east-to-west cross-breeze coming from a north- and south-facing window.
Things That I, a Millennial Born in the ’90s, Would Rather Do than Make a Phone Call
- Repeat grades six and seven, objectively my most awkward years - Untangle holiday lights - Menstruate for an entire month
Child Labor Is Back, Baby! (Seriously, Are You a Baby? Because We’re Hiring)
You won’t get holidays off, but aren’t you sick of spending Thanksgiving with your cheugy cousins anyway?
The Dollar Bill on the Wall of This Pizza Shop Is Sick of Being Out of Circulation
It might look like I have a pretty good gig, but don’t you think this is kind of fucked up?
I’m Your 40-Ounce Water Bottle, and This Has Been an Emotional Rollercoaster
I started to worry once I took a few tumbles onto the driveway. The damage was limited—I am made of steel—but the emotional injury is everlasting.