1. Two of the three Paul McCartney clones
  2. Last known can of Crystal Pepsi
  3. The good batteries for your remote control
  4. A Totino’s Pizza Roll that is an even temperature inside and out
  5. Bigfoot, Chupacabra, but not Mothman (he’s a real jerk)
  6. An IKEA dresser that doesn’t cause a breakup
  7. Worn out Blu-Ray of Independence Day with Director’s Commentary
  8. Amelia Earhart (not the famous one)
  9. The Day the Clown Cried blooper reel
  10. The Atari E.T. games they couldn’t fit in the New Mexico landfill
  11. Multi-dimensional time traveler who can infect others with his passive-aggressiveness (and honestly it’s refreshing how low his standards are)
  12. 1992 Super Bowl Champion Buffalo Bills T-Shirts (and 2027 Super Bowl Champion Buffalo Bills T-Shirts, thanks to our time-traveling friend)
  13. Every one of your childrens’ missing socks
  14. Four members of the Bonanno crime family at their very cushy, no-work jobs
  15. The Community movie
  16. Directions to the lost city of Atlantic (toll route)
  17. The 11th Commandment
  18. Phil McBrewster, a nice guy who overstayed his welcome
  19. Your parents’ WiFi password
  20. A game of Monopoly without any missing pieces
  21. The real Slim Shady
  22. An alternate history where you didn’t blow out your knee in the big High School State Championship Game and could’ve gone pro
  23. Emergency Department of Defense rations of McRibs
  24. The Backup President
  25. Interstellar munitions to fight back the aliens coming to retrieve their Paul McCartney clones