Come, sir! Come on down to our madcap, eccentric and 100% improvised comedy extravaganza! We are Innately Humorous.

Let me lead you down this darkened alleyway and introduce you to the cast. We don't even need a theater. We can improv anywhere! Like right here, near this pile of boxes behind an old Foot Locker. Tell us your worst romantic experience and we shall enact it for you, here upon these hastily assembled old pallets. For the next hour and a half! And you shall pay us $35 for the privilege! Short and snappy bits? No way! Ours is an ad lib full-length production, a work of improvisational genius without a moment's rehearsal or contemplation.

Shoes off, coat off, valuables off before entering the performance area, if you please, sir. We're not like other improv troupes, you know. This bunch of ragtag, madcap comedy scamps has not a shred of professional training between us. We don't need it—we are Innately Humorous! The funny, the farce, the folly is simply inherent in everything we do. See how we all break in every scene? We're all laughing, therefore we are objectively hilarious!

Sir, you look uneasy. Don't you think our joke is hysterical? Yes, joke in the singular. Callbacks are the height of comedic sophistication, so we make sure to use them constantly for maximum haha value. Our joke is the word “fuck.” Ordinarily, long, rambling monologues are the soul of wit, but the audience loves it! We make sure to say “penis” and “vagina” regularly too, because we are cutting-edge and risque.

So cutting-edge and risque are we that we might take our show on the road. All of a sudden, we could run up and push you into the canal. Improv! We might burst into a business lunch and make it rain onion dip, bitches. Improv! Parkour at a funeral? Yes, and… And pushing you roughly against this wall! Improv, improv, improv! Anything goes. Is it a mugging; is it a sketch—who can tell?! What a bunch of nuts—we're a hoot!

You can join in the fun too, sir! Step onto the stage… yes, watch out for loose nails. A gentleman last week got tetanus, you know! Very careless. Now, share with us your name, occupation, and most debilitating sexual hang-up. Oh my! Let's have a round of pity applause for the gentleman! Never mind your abject humiliation, sir. We're getting to know each other; it’s all in good fun! Just kindly point to the pocket in which you carry your wallet? Very good, sir!

For today’s improvisational extravaganza, we need some suggestions, some specific words and figures to incorporate. It's word association—I shall scream spittle-flecked prompts directly into your face and you just say the first thing that comes to mind, OK? A BANK?! A FOUR-DIGIT NUMBER?! YOUR PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME?!

Is this a mugging, I see you wondering? You keep glancing at my castmates' finger guns, sir? Yes, they're quite real. Tips are strongly encouraged, and should be placed in this bag. Oh, your whole wallet? How very generous! Behold, you're shaking with mirth! We thank you for your patronage of the arts and our humble troupe. It must be because we're just so “fuck fuck fuck”-ing funny.