• Matching tattoos
  • Going around and saying what you dislike about everyone
  • DIY ax throwing in the parking lot
  • Fish microwaving contest
  • Egging Janet in HR’s car (for charity)
  • A game I will not be explaining in advance called “Piss fish”
  • Food fight
  • Bracket-style competition for which coworker you would actually save in the trolley problem
  • Breaking into HR’s office and destroying evidence of The Incident Janet wrote me up for
  • Fighting to the death for the last breakroom donut
  • Fighting to the death for the big promotion
  • Fighting to the death for the love of violent competition
  • Snakes (for charity)
  • Everyone shares the worst thing that happened in their life
  • Dressing up as what Janet wrote you up for
  • Weekend retreat hosted by Bear Grylls
  • Fear Factor but with Janet’s lunches
  • Releasing 100 rats in the building and the person who ends up with the most rats wins
  • Speed running a full season the The Bachelor
  • Speed running a full season of Love Island
  • Speed running a full season of Flavor of Love
  • Reading and giving me constructive yet gentle feedback on my manuscript, an activity Janet insisted was “an inappropriate use of working hours”
  • Fridge leftover eating contest
  • Having a repeat of The Incident where you see if the desk in Janet’s office is made of real wood by axing it up and trying to make a fire in her office but accidentally setting the carpet on fire and causing the company millions (for charity)
  • Building an apology desk together, upcycling all the paperwork from the previous activity
  • Mets game (Janet is a Yankees fan)
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