My Son Is a Baby and He Looks Nothing like Me
Rodney is a baby and I am an adult man. We look nothing alike. For starters, look at how much smaller Rodney is than me.
Comedy Writing
At Our Montessori School, We Offer Drug Culture Without the Drugs
By the time your child is in elementary school, they’ll be able to replace your basement door with a beaded curtain adorned with Grateful Dead skulls.
I’d Like to Be Considered for the Role of James Bond
Instead of a 007 who is handsome, smooth, and combat-trained, what if we went with a 40-year-old guy who is allergic to bees.
The 12 Steps of Recovering a Forgotten Password
Somewhere, up in the cloud someplace, there is a benevolent being that can let you back into your SubzScription account.
Summer Movie Releases as Previewed by Your Neighbor Who Is Getting a Pool
Honestly, I don’t know what I’m more excited for: a new Transformers movie or this brand new swimming pool I’m having put in my backyard.
NBA Scouting Reports of Famous Historical Figures
Jesus Christ brings a robust following as well as the ability to do some pretty amazing things off the court.
For Sale: Charming 2 Bed/2 Bath Cape Cod with Paul Reiser Room!
This room also differs from other rooms in the home in that it features multiple bronze Paul Reiser statues bolted directly to the floor.
Ways That I, a Non-Parent, Imagine I Will Someday Discipline My Children
With two kitchen chairs turned backwards facing one another, we’ll both sit down to hash things out.
To Determine If You’re the Right Fit for This Job, We’d Like You to Do This Job
We definitely have already done a full marketing strategy, but we want you to complete one too, so that we can compare yours to ours.
If These Walls Could Talk, They’d Be Pretty Annoying
If these walls could talk, they'd talk incessantly about themselves while never asking you any questions about yourself.
I’m the Best Detective in the World, So Why Do You Keep Second-Guessing Me?
What’s your motive for second-guessing me every second of every day? Every week, we go through the same rigamarole.
It’s the Third Act of Our Action Movie and the Perfect Time to Ride a Ferris Wheel
I assure you that there is no better place to be than in a rickety metal porch swing slowly ascending to the sky!