If LinkedIn Existed During Biblical Times
HIRING: One male and one female of every animal. Please submit a cover letter explaining why you are the most qualified/fertile of your species.
Tag: Religion
Things Everyone Else Should Give Up for Lent This Year
My downstairs neighbors should give up on the thing they call a “heavy metal bagpipes band.”
Jesus Christ Struggles with His Imposter Syndrome
“Love one another,” commanded Jesus Christ, continuing, “Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making sense. Sorry.”
Essential Questions to Ask Your Exorcist
"What’s your schedule?" Exorcism is a nonstop, 24/6 career and the Devil loves dropping in unannounced, so you’ll want your exorcist on-call.
FAQ for Travelers Planning to Visit Heaven
Heaven has several noteworthy attractions. It boasts a decent choir, if you enjoy liturgical music. The library has a good book.
I’m the Buddha, and Desire Is Okay, as Long as It’s for Pepsi-Cola
Desire always leads to suffering, with the exception of the desire for an ice-cold glass of refreshing Pepsi-Cola™. That one’s fine.
Biblical Figures Stub Their Toe
Cain: Cain is in pain! Abel: I'm un-Abel to walk comfortably!
Heads Up! This Church Choir Is About to Sing the Hell Out of “Little Drummer Boy”
Don’t you dare be soothed into chorale complacency by our initial thin delivery and ambiguous harmonies.
Praise Be to Bullseye for This Bountiful Target Fall Home Décor Collection
We revere his gracious power and salute the Bull Terriers before who’ve portrayed his likeness.
I, Jesus Christ, Hath Risen and Wow You Guys Have a Lot of Seltzer Brands Now
How do these seltzer companies make money in such a saturated market? What gives?
Some Complaints I Have with the Garden of Eden
Too much fruit: I've eaten six tons of papaya, 3,500 grapefruits, 0 apples, 700 oranges, more grapes than I can count, and a plethora of colorful berries.
Seven Ways to Stop Me Before I Start a Devastating Religion
Walk out: Just leave en masse. Once you're a healthy distance away from me, there will be no one to support my Multi-Level Marketing Religion.