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Tag: Satire and Parody
Cancel Your Gym Membership in Three Easy Steps and One Impossible Minotaur Fight
Step Three: Click the “Confirm Cancel Membership” Button. Step Four: Unsheath that broadsword, foolish mortal!
Welcome to the Writing Workshop Where We Don’t Write
Give in to this workshop not by writing, but by taking turns asking for more condiments, plates, and silverware as I stash them in my purse.
Ten Grapes I Ate Anyway
Grape that went under the refrigerator: I swear it bounced off my knee and shot directly under the fridge.
I’m a Matriarch in a Play, and I’m Sure Nothing Bad Will Happen at My Family Gathering
Awfully hot day, isn’t it? It’s always hot here in the summers, but we make do. That’s what the Edgar family does. We make do.
Five Turtles You Saved to Get into College and the Spine-Chilling Deaths They’ve Died Since
From the moment you looked into Doris's eyes, you knew that your father's assistant who majored in Comp Lit at Yale would find the right words to describe them.
I’m an Elite Professional Quarterback, but My Coaches Don’t Trust Me with the Team’s Tablet
When I switched to the New York Times mini-crossword they yelled at me again---and put child locks on so I could only look at replays.
The Enemy of My Enemy
The enemy of my massage therapist, Janet, is her husband, Ricky. That’s no coincidence. They married young when they were so naïve.
Don’t Be Alarmed, This Rollercoaster Is Designed to Get Stuck Upside Down for 75 Minutes
Everyone keeps crying out that the ride is malfunctioning once the coaster is hanging perilously upside down. It’s an intense ride.
Inspiring Adages Reimagined by a 36-Year-Old Writer-Slash-Server
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Because you will never, and I mean never, have central air conditioning.
Negotiations from a Hostage Negotiator Who Clearly Has Some Stuff Going On at Home
How many of the hostages are in relationships? 12? Do they seem like they’re happy?
Monologue from the Rat You Made Eye Contact With
I was born here and I’ll die here and so will 500 of my brothers and sisters. You moved to New York City to go to NYU and major in bisexuality.