We’ve Made a Few Cutbacks to This Season’s Promotional Schedule
Tie-Dye Sonics Blindfold: Take a moment to soak in the game-day atmosphere by succumbing to all of your other senses.
Tag: Baseball
A Connecticut Yankee Fan in King Arthur’s Court
“Yankee Stadium?” I said, pointing towards the castle below. “Camelot,” he replied. “What the fuck,” I said.
Broadcast of a Baseball Game Between Dads Checking on a Sound in the Middle of the Night with Baseball Bats and Louisville Slugger Factory Workers Who Test Bats for Quality Assurance
The dads effectively hit everything except the ball causing a lot of property damage while the factory workers could not settle on a bat.
What Owning Box Seats in Every Baseball Stadium Says About You
St. Louis Cardinals: You can't climax unless it's a 1-0 pitchers' duel.
If the Phillie Phanatic Is Allowed to Get a Vasectomy, Whose Offspring’s Pelts Will I Use to Make a Luxurious Fur Coat?
The Phillie Phanatic can phuck off.
Cheap Summer Vacations, Blueberry Pancakes, and MLB Courtesy
Scott Scranton explains how to vacay cheaper this summer—without sacrificing fun. Plus, Glen Lentil's blueberry pancakes from the heart.
Calling All Baseball Game Popcorn Vendors, Pharmaceutical Reps, and Bar Mitzvah DJs: We Need You to Hand Out Covid Vaccines
Geoff’s been out here slingin’ Coors Light at double-A ballgames for longer than most of these white coat jokers been alive.
Backstories for the Stuffed Animals in Simulated Baseball Audience
Googly-eyed octopus behind catcher’s mound: Campaign manager for a commemorative Beanie Baby with a nascent political streak.
The Unwritten Rules of Baseball
The phone is for calling the bullpen, not pranking the loser ump by telling him his wife is in labor.
Surprising New Rules for Major League Baseball’s COVID-19 Season
If both opponents' Designated Epidemiologists agree that it will aid in player immunity, MLB will allow injections of anabolic steroids.
As the Commissioner of Major League Baseball, My Job Is to Give Fans Exactly What They Want: As Little Baseball as Possible
I've been accused of only looking out for the owners, which is patently false. The products—I mean players!—are my absolute top priority
My Only Job Option Is to Play Professional Baseball
There's no better job out of college than playing in the MLB. Great pay, fame, and most of the time you’re standing around and not doing anything.